


A broken bird may yet learn to sing

by Utuinen



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Abusive Parents, Alternate Universe - Historical, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Happy Ending, Love Confessions, Minor Violence, Running Away, Sneaking Out
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-15
Updated: 2019-12-10
Packaged: 2021-01-31 12:26:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 10,958
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21446191
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Utuinen/pseuds/Utuinen
Summary: Namine is the only daughter of a rich nobleman and she needs for nothing. On all accounts her life should be perfect--except it isn't.Unloved by her father and devoid of control over her life, Namine is all but at her breaking point. On the night of her birthday she talks with one of the guards at her father's estate, Xion, revealing to her the real feelings she has been bottling up. Their chance meeting ends up being only the beginning of something more.
Relationships: Naminé/Xion (Kingdom Hearts)
Comments: 6
Kudos: 21





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Xion gets to have her emotional breakdowns in-game, but I felt like it's past time Namine gets to let out some steam. Which ended up turning into this.
> 
> The story isn't set at any specific time or place in history so... don't think about it too much.

The night air was cold and the stars shimmered somewhere far above the manor’s garden. Namine took a deep breath as she walked under the overarching branches of the lilac trees that had long since dropped their flowers and been covered by a thick layer of snow. The garden was not empty even in winter, no, the pathways were decorated by lifesize statues of carved ice and beautiful hanging lights, stringed between the trees. As Namine walked, her long, heavy dress swept the snow off the closest bushes, but none of it stuck to the material. Not that it would have been exactly visible either way, as the dress was white as the purest snow, if you didn’t count the little blue gems that adorned the bodice.

When she got to the frozen bond, Namine wrapped her arms around herself and took another deep breath, this time shaky and filled with bottled up grief. Something warm made its way down her cheeks, and though she knew the tears would soon make her face go stiff if she didn’t wipe them away, she did not raise her hands or make an effort to stop them.

”I’m-- not sure if I should interrupt but... Are you alright, milady?”

The sudden voice made Namine jump.

A black-haired girl, dressed in a heavy cloak, stood right there by the hedgerow. With further examination, Namine realized that she did recognize the girl--she was one of the apprentice knights working for her father, who trained under their guards. They had never spoken, they had had no reason to, but Namine had regularly followed the practice matches between her and the other trainees from the upper floors of the manor, and she had often found herself wishing for the girl’s win. Maybe it was because they were approximately the same age, or maybe because Namine liked her smile when she won. She looked... invincible.

Was she on guard duty tonight? If she was, she was unlucky to have been situated here, at the back of the garden. If she was at least closer to the manor, where the posts were closer to each other, she could probably talk the night away with her friends. Maybe even slip inside for a short while to warm up and get frosted cookies or steaming mulled wine from the kitchen.

”I-- I’m quite fine. I just-- stepped out for some fresh air,” Namine said breathlessly. ”There are so many people inside.”

”Are you... cold?” the girl asked and took off her cloak, offering it to her.

Namine was, in fact, cold. She hadn’t taken her own cape with her when she had come outside, and even though the dress had long sleeves, it wasn’t made out of wool or even fur, and it didn’t stop the cold from steeping into her skin and bones. However, that wasn’t what had made her cry and cradle herself.

”Here, take it,” the girl pushed the cloak closer to Namine. ”We can’t have you catching a cold, can we?”

”Thank you,” Namine nodded as she took the cloak with a shaking hand, stifling a sniff.

It was a lot rougher against her skin than any of her own clothes, but she didn’t really mind. It was warm, and it was bulky, so that she could almost feel like disappearing into its folds.

”But now you must be cold,” Namine murmured in a quiet voice.

”Not at all, milady,” the girl smiled, her cheeks all reddened by the wintry air.

”You should have this back--” Namine said and raised her hands to take the cloak off, but the girl placed her gloved hands on top of her own and squeezed lightly, which made her to stop.

”I’ll walk you to the door. You can give it back when you get inside,” the girl said.

Namine knew she should have walked faster, because ladies never stalled or lingered, or dragged their feet, but she didn’t want to go back inside yet. She didn’t want to return to the party supposedly celebrating her, didn’t want to feel like she was suffocating again, surrounded by all her father’s guests who had connections to upheld or who wished to gain her favour, so that she might choose to marry their sons. As if they didn’t know that what she thought didn’t really matter.

The tears were rolling again, but she didn’t care. She cried in complete silence, pulling the collar higher to hide her cheeks.

Either the girl spacing just a few steps behind her didn’t notice, or then she didn’t say anything. Namine wasn’t expecting her to, since it was not in her place to ask again, after she had already insisted she was fine.

”Milady, are you--” the girl started quietly, but then, as Namine turned to look back, shook her head with that same smile on her face.

”No, it was nothing.”

Namine turned her back on the girl again and tried to collect herself while she still had time. She could cry there, in the dark garden, where no one saw her--or, _almost_ no one--but she mustn’t cry in front of others. She may not have been strong, but she was not allowed to show her weakness, either.

”Milady, I-- I wanted to wish you happy birthday,” the girl said, with a hurried voice as though she wasn’t quite sure if she should say it or not.

Namine stopped in her tracks.

”And what,” her voice was trembling ”is so _damn happy_ about it?”

”I’m sorry?” the girl faltered, probably not believing her ears.

Namine swung around and faced the other girl.

”It only means I’m one year older again! With each one, my time is running out and soon the whispers will begin! My father’s patience is gonna end eventually and I _will_ have to get married, whether I want to or not! That’s all I am good for, to be quiet and look pretty, to do as I’m told. I... I feel like a bird, locked in a cage, there to entertain others but never to live for myself. Inside, there, in the hall,” Namine pointed wildly somewhere behind her, towards the manor ”with all those people around me, I can’t _breathe_! And no one notices, no one _cares_...! It doesn’t matter, nothing matters, not what I think or what I want! My life has been already all laid out, and the only thing I have to do is live it, just like father tells me to! Marry, wish my husband treats me well, carry children, not even raise them myself because the horde of servants and tutors will do that for me, see my own children maybe twice a year, die! What a great life, such a happy day worth of celebrating!”

The girl looked at her, eyes wide, the whites clearly visible in the dark. Namine knew that none of this was the girl’s fault and it was unfair of her to yell at her.

Namine wasn’t allowed to have these thoughts, much less to voice them, but the well-meaning words of this knight-to-be had been the last stone thrown at her, the one that broke her into tiny pieces, shattered all over. She cried, hollered almost, for once not caring who heard her. They were still a great way from the house, so maybe no one did. The sobs, the howls got all tangled up in her throat.

”I-- I feel so _alone_!” Namine cried, hiccuping in the middle.

To her surprise, the girl wrapped her arms around her and buried Namine’s head against her chest. At first Namine thought to pull back, but the girl pressed her harder against herself. Almost like she was going to hold her together all on her own.

”Shhh,” she lulled. ”I care.”

”U-- Ugh, I kn-- know it’s stupid and I shouldn’t complain, and my life is so easy. I-- I don’t have to work, and I won’t ever go hungry, b-- but...” Namine sobbed. ”I don’t want this. I don’t want any of this!”

”You’re hyperventilating. Breathe. In. And now out. You can breathe,” she spoke softly.

Namine was not used to being this close to other people. Her governess had not hugged her after she turned eight, and she had had to keep a formal distance from everyone through her life. With her head against the girl’s chest, she could hear her heart beat. It was beating a bit fast, but it was still a calming sound. She clung to the girl like she was drowning.

”Shhh,” the girl ran her hand along Namine’s back, again and again. ”Cry. It’s not stupid. You are allowed to have feelings.”

And Namine cried.

After a while, her breathing grew steadier, and she was left with only the quiet, ugly sobs that shook her whole body. When she no longer had any tears left, she still pressed her forehead against the girl and took deep, shaking breaths, one after another.

”Any better now?” the girl asked, still in that same, soft voice.

”I’m so weary now. But yes. I’m... sorry you had to listen to that,” Namine said and closed her eyes.

”Bottling up all your feelings isn’t good for you, milady,” the girl said. ”I will listen, if you ever need an ear or two again. I’m really sorry I can’t... actually do anything for you.”

At that, Namine gave the girl a sad smile. She knew the girl couldn’t change any of it, and the girl really shouldn’t feel sorry about it, but Namine still thought it was a sweet sentiment.

”This feels so stupid now, but... What is your name?” Namine asked, raising her head to look straight into the girl’s eyes.

”Xion,” the girl smiled. ”Kind of like that flower.”

”Xion,” Namine repeated and made sure to remember it. ”Beautiful name.”

”Thank you, milady.”

Namine took one last deep breath and straightened herself, and Xion released the hands around her immediately.

Namine wiped her face and muttered: ”I must look so awful now...”

”Not really,” Xion answered. ”Your combing is still intact. If we hold a little snow to your cheeks to reduce the swelling and then you get to wash your face, you should look as stunning as always-- milady.”

Namine’s cheeks might have burned red because of the compliment, but if they did, no one could tell because of the way the cold had already coloured them.

Given that Namine _would_ still have to return to the ball, the advice wasn’t bad, so even though the cold hurt her skin she gathered snow in her hands and pressed it against her face. Xion watched her from the side, attentive. Namine knew that she should have been embarrassed over her outburst, ashamed after losing her face so, possibly scared about all the rumors Xion could now set in motion if she so wanted, but for some reason she found that right then, in the moment, she didn’t care.

Xion walked her the rest of the way to the manor. The other guards posted there did give them a few glances, but none of them looked like they had heard anything out of the ordinary. Namine was for once thankful for the way the orchestra’s playing could be heard through the glass doors of the great hall.

”Your cloak,” Namine said and took it off her shoulders.

”I hope it was suitably warm,” Xion said with a little nod.

”I’m sorry for making you stand the cold for so long,” Namine said and bit her lip. ”You must come inside now, get some mulled wine at least, to warm you up.”

”If you say so, milady,” Xion didn’t sound like she was going to argue, but neither did she seem to think it was necessary.

”Will you be fine from now on?” Xion asked when they were finally about to part ways in the otherwise empty foyer, Xion making her way towards the kitchen wing, Namine about to sneak up the stairs to wash her face.

”I will,” Namine smiled with all the grace of a fine lady. _I will have to_.

And so they parted ways. Later that night, Namine returned to the ball, smiling and having quiet conversations with the guests in between dances. Her father looked at her with the same cold eyes he always did, but no one seemed to notice that she had been gone for quite a while. Namine had been right, and no one cared. _I care_. Every time she remembered the words, she noticed herself standing a bit taller. She could continue breathing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This first chapter was pretty much the whole thing I had planned to write before I started, but the next two chapters will probably show why I think it may have gotten a little out of hand when I actually started writing... Given that the whole thing was supposed to be like ~3k words at most.
> 
> I would love to hear what you think of it!


	2. Chapter 2

The warm autumn sun filled the whole room. The solarium had always been one of Namine’s favourite rooms in her father’s manor, for mostly two reasons--the lightning there was always the best in the house, and no one else in the family regularly spent time there, so it was perfect for being alone. Namine could have spent hours just sitting there, on a bench in the middle of the room, basking in the light with her face turned to the sun, or admiring the lush green plants that climbed the room’s walls. Or drawing, which was one of the few activities she had been suggested along the years that she actually enjoyed.

As the oldest and the only child Namine should have been raised as the heir, taught not only in etiquette but trade and leadership as well, but she never had been. It was clear whatever her father planned to do with his businesses in the future, they would never be Namine’s burden.

Namine was dressed in a cream-coloured dress, and a string of small yet breathtakingly perfect pearls had been woven in her hair. They reflected the light a little differently every time she moved her head.

In front of her, on a chair, sat Xion. Her head was turned to the side--as Namine had often said she had a beautiful profile--and she stared into the distance, trying to keep her pose as still as possible so that it would be easier for Namine to work on the portrait she was sketching.

A few years had passed, and they were both better described as young women now. After the night of Namine’s birthday, they had started exchanging words whenever they saw each other, though they often had little reason to. Little by little they had regardless learned to know each other, and as of late they had become better with coming up with reasons to meet. Namine’s drawing practice was one, and by her request, they had sometimes spent afternoons like this, seated either in the solarium or in the garden, Namine focused on her art and Xion on staying still, but not so much that they didn’t have the time to talk and laugh together when Xion rested herself.

”You’re squinting again,” Namine commented, giving Xion’s face quick glances in between her strokes with charcoal. ”Is the light too direct?”

”A bit,” Xion answered.

The sun had shifted above them since Xion had last changed her pose, and Namine thought it was a good time to take another break. As if on cue, they heard a knock and the door to the solarium opened. A red-haired maid peeked inside, carrying a tea tray with her.

”They sent me from the kitchen, milady. Would you two care for some afternoon tea?” the maid asked.

”Thank you,” Namine nodded.

Maybe it wasn’t all up to etiquette for Xion to drink tea with Namine, but by now every servant in the house knew that for Namine, Xion was an exception to the rules. Since Namine’s father was currently on a business trip, everyone in the staff was more than happy to oblige her. Namine might not have ever cried her heart out to the rest of them, but all of them agreed that it was good for Namine to have a friend, especially after her last companion had recently quit after getting a sudden marriage proposal.

The maid set the tray down on a table and curtsied at them.

”I’ll come to collect the cups later,” she said, and with that, left.

Xion watched after the maid with a thoughtful look on her face. Namine poured tea for both of them and then glanced at Xion.

”What’s on your mind?” she asked and handed Xion’s tea cup towards her.

”I was just thinking...” Xion started but her voice trailed off. She shook her head and took the cup.

”How long was it again until your father comes back?”

Namine sighed and closed her eyes, a few wrinkles appearing in between her brows.

”Not enough,” she said.

”I understand I sound like a horrible daughter when I say this, but I wish he didn’t come home. Everything is so much... calmer when he’s away.”

”You’re not a horrible daughter. He’s a horrible father,” Xion said bluntly. _Too _ bluntly, given that he was her benefactor, allowing her the training and lodging at his estate, but she had long since decided that one of them had to say out loud that which they both knew to be true. She had also dropped the ”milady” a long time ago if it was just the two of them.

”Everyone says he’s ’a very wise, exemplary man’, though,” Namine was surprisingly good at not letting her bitterness slip into her voice, even when her words were full of it.

”Maybe when it comes to handling trade or governing land, but that doesn’t change how he treats you,” Xion was unwavering. ”But you didn’t really answer me. How long?”

”Three more days, I think,” Namine shrugged. ”Not enough.”

”Maybe it is,” Xion seemed to be lost in thought again.

”The harvest festival starts tomorrow, and I quite believe you’d enjoy it. I know it’s a little soon, but I didn’t get to talk to you earlier, so... I was thinking, how would you like it if I kidnapped you?” Xion was completely straight-faced.

Namine’s brows shot upwards. ”_What?_”

She was sure she had misheard, but Xion just nodded and continued.

”It would be easier now that your father isn’t here. I could smuggle you into the town, no one would need to know who you are and you could just... try being like everyone else. Free. Do whatever you wanted for a day.”

Namine wasn’t sure how to react.

”Only if you want, of course. And I’d be close by, making sure no harm comes to you,” Xion finished talking.

She waited patiently for Namine to decide on what she wanted to say in response, calmly sipping her tea. Namine took her own tea cup quietly to her lips, looked straight in front of herself without actually seeing anything in the room, and set it back down on the saucer without drinking any. She repeated this a few times, all the while Xion waited and observed.

”Would it work? Even if father isn’t home, it can’t be so simple--” when Namine finally spoke, her words were hopeful and disbelieving in equal measure.

”Because of the festival most of the staff have a day or at least an evening off, so if you pleaded head-ache to stay in your room, I don’t think your disappearance would be noticed, if we get one of the maids to work with us. I think miss Kairi, the red-head from before, would be perfect. The guard on duty at the back gate tomorrow afternoon owes me, so he won’t stop us or tell anyone. It’s fully up to you if you want to or not,” Xion said.

In Namine’s eyes, a new light was lit as she allowed herself to hope.

”You would really do that?” she asked.

Xion nodded with a simple ”yes”.

”Then... Yes! I would love it!” Namine said, eyes sparkling and face melting into an excited smile that she tried to hide with her hands. The effort was half-hearted, and the expression made Xion’s heart skip a beat.

”Alright. We can talk it over with miss Kairi when she comes to collect the tea cups.”

* * *

The next morning, Namine told everyone her head ached so much that she wanted to simply rest for the whole day in her own room. The maids were very sympathetic and promised not to disturb her so she could sleep it off. When the morning turned to noon, Namine couldn’t really do more than to wait nervously, until finally Kairi appeared behind her door, as agreed, carrying her dinner and an extra change of clothes. One of the reasons Xion had decided to ask her to help them was that she and Namine were almost exactly the same size, which made it possible for Namine to borrow one of her dresses. Xion’s clothes were out of the question as she was entirely too tall.

”Here milady, the corset. Let me help with the lacing,” Kairi offered.

She didn’t fasten the corset quite as tight as Namine had been used to and the petticoat she handed Namine next wasn’t as layered as she was used to, either. The dress itself was rather simple, a white shirt and a pale pink skirt, which even with the smocking could not be described as much more than plain. It was perfect.

”I think a pair of your own boots will have to do, I wasn’t sure how well our shoe-size matches. Use the ones meant for long walks, they look the most common. Luckily the skirt hides most of them,” Kairi instructed and Namine nodded.

Kairi also did Namine’s hair, gathering it up on a neat chignon, very similar to her own. When she stepped away to see how the results of her work looked like, there was unmistakable pride in her eyes.

”If they don’t look too closely, no one should recognize you,” she said.

Namine’s skin was still too light, never tanned from working outside during the summer, and her hands were too smooth, never badly cut nor burned in the kitchen, but Kairi was still right--if one didn’t look too closely, Namine would have looked like any girl in the town, excited for the festival and ready to fully enjoy herself for once, leaving her ordinary life behind just for this one day.

”The nights can get pretty chilly at this time of the year, so have this shawl as well,” Kairi said and gave Namine a long shawl with a small brooch in the shape of a flower.

”Thank you,” Namine whispered, unsure of what else she could say. Kairi, just like Xion, was all but risking her livelihood to help her, and unlike Xion, she didn’t even know why she wanted to go out dressed as a commoner.

”You’re welcome, milady,” Kairi smiled.

”Now, let’s go show miss Xion,” she said and checked that the corridor was empty before beckoning Namine to follow her.

Namine had obviously never walked through the house using the servants’ passages, but Kairi made sure to warn her in time when the gaps between the stairs were irregular and told her which walls were not walls at all but doors, making it possible to move through the manor quietly and mostly without being seen, when one had the need to.

They met Xion at the servants’ door behind the house.

”Oh,” Namine let out a quiet breath.

It was the first time she had ever seen Xion in something other than the guard uniform or the undershirt she wore when she trained with the other knights. She was still wearing her well-worn boots, but instead of her trousers she had a purple skirt and a matching bow tied around the collar of her black button-up blouse with puffed sleeves.

”Oh, no uniform today?” Kairi commented in Namine’s stead when they were within speaking distance.

”What if there is trouble?”

”It’s better the less we attract attention, that way the trouble is unlikely to find us,” Xion said.

”It’s my day off, after all, and the uniform would stand out. Then the risk of someone noticing who I’m with would rise,” she continued. ”Even though you have done a great job. She looks very... different.”

”Doesn’t she?” Kairi asked happily.

”She really does. Shall we?” Xion offered Namine her hand and she took it.

At the gate, as Xion had said, the guard simply looked away as they walked past. The manor was on a small hill outside the town, but they would be fine walking there. The sun was hanging low above them but they would have light for several hours more, and the town was coloured beautiful orange, as were the trees along the road, starting to change their leaves to prepare for winter.

”So, when we get there. Do you want to go around with me? Or do you want to explore on your own? I mean, I’m going to be close by but...” Xion shrugged a bit half-sidedly as they were still holding hands.

”With you. I wouldn’t even know where to start on my own,” Namine said and smiled, giving Xion’s hand a slight squeeze.

”There aren’t _that _ many things to do, really. Mostly just foods to taste,” Xion smiled back.

”Hmm, regardless,” Namine said, still smiling.

They further agreed that Xion should be the one handling the monetary side, as Namine’s understanding of how much was a reasonable price to pay for any one thing was a bit shaky.

The closer the two of them got to the town, the more clearly they could hear the faint music, smell the mixing scents of all the baked sweets and rich stews still brewing, see the colourful little flags hung from one house to the next and the wreaths weaved from autumn grasses, as well as all the other decorations put up for the feast.

Most of the shops surrounding the central square were closed for the festivities, but unlike the farmers who didn’t work that day, some of their owners had set up stalls selling their wares for the festival-goers. Together with traveling merchants they had created a lively, temporary market, which served you with plenty to look at at the very least, even if you were not going to buy much.

The streets were filled with people. It was a rural town, far from the hustle of big cities, but when everyone gathered at the same place like this, it didn’t feel so small for once. Some people greeted Xion with familiarity, but none of them seemed too concerned about who Namine was. Most of the people knew each other and everyone’s families, but there were also visitors and travelers passing through from other parts of the kingdom, so a few unfamiliar faces were only to be expected.

Namine tried to keep her head from spinning too fast as she tried to take everything in, but her face was split into a wonderful smile and her eyes sparkled with excitement. Xion simply watched her from the side, smiling softly and trying not to laugh. She knew this was a lot for her.

”What do you want to start with?” Xion asked.

”Everything?” Namine sounded more like she was asking her, not answering her.

”Unfortunately, you’ll have to choose something,” Xion smiled and gently tucked Namine closer to allow a child not looking in front of himself to run past them without collision. Namine turned her face away, a bit flustered, and Xion let go. ”It would be a pity to go back if you didn’t get to do more than to just stand around.”

”Oh, but I feel like just looking around could be enough for me. Hmm... That smells _wonderful_!” Namine was drawn to a stall selling different fruit pies.

”How much for two slices?” Xion asked the woman keeping the stall, and soon they walked away with still warm apple pie wrapped inside a small cloth. Xion opened the packet and held out one of the pieces to Namine.

They went from one stall to the next, tasting all manners of sweet and savoury pies and trying out fruity drinks and warm, creamy soups, sometimes turning abruptly away and ducking into the alleyways between houses to avoid running into someone from the manor or stopping to watch the festivities around them. Namine had obviously eaten well her whole life, but this kind of freedom to _choose _was new to her. The smile on her face was precious, just like the grimace when she ended up not liking something.

”I don’t think I can eat anything more,” Namine finally said, smiling contently but still shaking her head when Xion pointed out someone selling honeyed pears. ”Maybe later?”

They sat down on the edge of the fountain in the middle of the square, to take a breather and just to take a good look at the townspeople enjoying themselves. Children laughed and if they had the money for it, played carnival games where you could win small prizes, and adults chatted with their friends and relaxed. The makeshift band had started another catchy tune, and people were making room as some seemed to want to start a dance.

”Oooh, I think you’ll like this,” Xion said and turned to look at Namine with a bright smile. ”It’s going to be quite different from what you’re used to.”

She seemed to deliberate it for a moment before taking Namine’s hand excitedly. ”Actually, what if we join in?”

”I don’t even know the steps--” Namine started but was already being pulled up on her feet by laughing Xion, not that she really resisted.

”Don’t worry. No one does,” Xion assured her and led them into the midst of the people.

As soon as the dance started, Namine realized why knowing one’s steps didn’t matter. Raised to know every finery of any ballroom dance, it was the wildest dance she had ever participated in, and each pair seemed to be doing whatever they felt fit the music the best.

The tempo was quick and lively, and the melody oh so unfamiliar, and at first Namine couldn’t recognize any patterns in it and she simply struggled to follow whatever Xion did, but eventually she noticed she could anticipate what was coming and move accordingly. The two women whirled and skipped around each other faster and faster, being always connected by at least one hand, their skirts making almost perfect circles around them at times. Xion grinned, and Namine laughed, though that only made it more apparent she was running out of breath already. The pastries also sat heavy in her stomach.

The violinist had started a high-pitched solo and the piece was clearly nearing its end. Namine felt she might just be able to keep up until the band switched songs--except that she wasn’t used to the dance floor being uneven cobblestone. Growing tired, her feet hit the edge of a tile that was higher than the rest and she tumbled down with a shriek.

”Are you--! Are you alright?” Xion asked, pretty winded herself, and quickly kneeled beside her. The other dancers gave them room, some glancing curiously at their direction.

”Ouch,” Namine’s hands were scratched and her left ankle ached a bit, but she was still laughing from all the excitement of the dance.

”I’m... I’m fine!” she told Xion and pushed hair out of her eyes. The chignon Kairi had styled had come loose, a lot of the pins halfway sticking out and not holding it together properly anymore.

”Let’s get you up,” Xion helped her on her feet again and they walked back to the fountain, still laughing quietly. They washed the dust and pebbles off Namine’s hands and inspected the parts where skin had peeled off. The scrapes would heal quick.

”Are you really fine?” Xion asked, looking at her more seriously now.

”I am. My foot hurts a bit but it’s not dislocated or anything,” Namine smiled reassuringly.

”I don’t know what I should do with the hair though. I’m not... good at tying it up myself,” she said tucking on a few loose strands.

”Neither am I. I’ve always had short hair,” Xion said.

They looked at each other, trying to come up with something.

”Say... which colour do you like the best? You don’t seem to like the white too much, and while the pink suits you, it still doesn’t look like_ yours_,” Xion asked, and Namine blinked at the change in the subject.

”Uh...” Nevertheless, Namine didn’t hesitate in giving the question real thought. She actually liked a lot of colours, and she liked playing with them while she painted. But when she tried to picture the colour she liked the most, her mind was always drawn to the beautiful summer sky, the sparkling water in the garden’s pond, the deep waves of the sea she had seen once as a little girl, the eyes currently peering at her face. The last thought made her blush a little, but she pushed it to the back of her mind. ”I like blue.”

”Blue. Got it,” Xion nodded and surveyed the market, looking for something. ”Wait here.”

Namine looked after her, puzzled, but saw that she wasn’t going far.

Xion headed straight for one of the stalls lining the square and exchanged a few words with the merchant, followed by money changing hands. When she returned, she held something up for Namine to see. A long ribbon, made of beautiful pale blue lace.

”The hairstyle might be a bit adolescent, but we can at least tie it out of the way. It’ll look less weird than having it all down,” Xion said as soon as she got within hearing distance. With nimble fingers she gathered Namine’s hair from around her face and tied it up on a half-ponytail, the kind that was usually worn by girls a lot younger and not burdened with duties. The skin on Namine’s neck burned where Xion’s fingers brushed against it, and the only reason she didn’t think they might have lingered in her hair longer than necessary was that she didn’t want them to retract. But they did, and Xion took a step back.

”Thank you, it’s a nice gift,” Namine said quietly, reaching her hand back to touch the ribbon.

”Well, technically I don’t think it counts as a gift since I paid for it with your money,” Xion smiled and shrugged. ”But good if you like it.”

They agreed to try dancing again only if the band chose slower pieces, and instead found themselves watching the dog show several of the local and visiting farmers had set up. Namine had never really been that close to a dog before and she thought the big ones were a bit scary, but even she had to admit that the puppies were all cute and their little pink tongues tickled as they licked her hand. Xion seemed to adore them and her expression was all soft when she scratched them behind their ears.

Namine probably shouldn’t have been shocked when the other woman eventually bursted into overwhelmed tears over the puppies--”They’re so_ tiny_!”--because she already knew Xion was prone to crying over the simplest things, but it still made her laugh after a surprised blink. Her effort to hide it behind her hands wasn’t particularly successful, but that didn’t matter. It was a happy laugh, and that was all Xion cared about.

Sun shifted slowly across the sky, and before they knew it, it was already setting behind the horizon, the sky no longer a beautiful orange with hints of pink here and there, but more a darker blue, with the last rays of sun still visible in the west. The lanterns were being lit all around the town, and the atmosphere they created was idyllic and even romantic in a sense, the fire flickering and reflecting from people’s eyes, the harsh edges of day blending and softening into the shadows in the low light.

”Looks like they’re going to start a bonfire,” Xion pointed out, as people gathered big pieces of wood in an empty area, with a crowd forming around it and those parents whose children still had enough energy left to be running around beckoned them closer to themselves, to make sure they would not go too close and get hurt.

”Can we go watch?” Namine asked, now a little conscious of the chill breeze of the evening, clutching Kairi’s shawl closer.

”Sure.”

The bonfire was lit and they stood among the people surrounding it, their faces lit up by the tall flames as they reached towards the sky. The heat of the fire made Namine warm again. Content and smiling, she took hold of Xion’s hand but kept looking at the flames.

”About today. I really appreciate this,” she said softly.

”Have you enjoyed yourself?” Xion asked.

”Yes. So much,” Namine nodded for emphasis.

”Then I’m glad,” Xion said and Namine could hear the smile in her voice.

”You didn’t have to do any of this, you know,” Namine mumbled quietly.

”I guess I didn’t. But I really wanted to. It’s nice to see you relaxed once in a while,” Xion said, shifting enough that she could hold both of Namine’s hands and they looked at each other.

”Thank you,” Namine breathed. ”I--”

But someone touched Xion’s shoulder right then to get her attention and to Namine’s horror it was one of the guards at the manor, out enjoying his free evening.

”Hey Xion! How has the evening been?”

Xion turned without hesitation to talk to him and blocked Namine from his line of sight, still holding her other hand, tugging her behind her. Namine didn’t need the encouragement, though, as she tried to disappear as well as she could behind Xion’s back without looking like she was obviously trying to hide.

”Really well, how about yours?” --the two of them continued to talk for a bit, making idle chatter. The other guard did seem to be interested in who Namine was, but Xion simply smiled and said her friend was a little shy around people she didn’t know, with an air of finality in her voice. He finally left them a while later, smiling and saying he didn’t want to bother Xion’s date too much.

When Xion turned back to look at Namine, her heart sank to see that Namine was staring quietly down, that old mask of dammed up emotions on her face.

”What is it?” Xion asked softly. ”He didn’t recognize you. And he’s fine, he wouldn’t tell on us--”

Namine shook her head, a fragile smile wavering on her lips.

”It’s just... I-- I wish this could be real. I wish this could be my life, that I didn’t have to hide when all I wanted was one evening.”

Xion stroked her cheek, doing what she could to comfort her. She had learned of Namine’s sorrows all those years ago, and she had to admit she hadn't been expecting for the lady she was supposed to serve to break down so completely in her arms. She had, before that, mostly believed Namine’s serene act like the others. But she had meant it, even then, when she had said she cared. And Xion was truly so glad about all the pieces she had been collecting for these years after, all the glimpses of her real self she had seen during that time, and had decided she liked her best when she was just that.

”--I wish I could really be that, you know,” Namine said, eyes still downcast. ”Your date.”

Xion’s breath drew short.

Neither of them had ever said anything out loud about whatever it was between them, both of them silently agreeing it was better not to name it and make it any more real that way, so it wouldn’t be harder than necessary to end it when the time eventually came. Xion’s other hand had rested on Namine’s shoulder, but now she raised them both to Namine’s cheeks, gently lifting her face towards herself. They looked at each other, many of the unsaid things right on the tip of their tongues.

”I wish that, too. It would be lovely,” Xion said simply.

”It would,” Namine slightly nodded.

Their words couldn’t still be called confessions exactly, but they were more honest and more aloud than what either had said before.

Namine had always felt heavy, knowing her father had expectations of her and that she would likely never be able to please him, no matter what she did. As a child she had hoped that if she was good enough he would come to like her. She wanted to think she didn’t held onto that hope anymore, because it had been trampled under his feet every single time without exceptions, and to not understand that she would have to have been either really stupid or really desperate. But then, she didn’t know why else she had never been able to voice her own opinions in front of him, instead playing the obedient daughter he wanted her to be. She allowed herself to be dressed in pretty dresses and said the repetitive lines he expected of her. Like a doll.

But her father was far away still, not to return until the day after tomorrow. The control he had over her life didn’t feel as suffocating here, outside the estate and standing less than an arm's length from Xion, bathed in the warmth of the bonfire, the living light and shadow moving across both of their skins and blending their expressions into something more openly intimate.

Xion’s hands were still at her cheeks and Namine turned her face so that her lips brushed the inside of her palm, then the fingers.

When she spoke, Xion’s voice was only barely audible, as if she was afraid she could scare Namine away. ”Would it be okay if I, just this once...?”

”_Please_,” Namine breathed.

And Xion leaned down to kiss her, the bittersweet taste of all the things unsaid slowly melting away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is were I was supposed to originally stop but... I wanted an ending that's a bit more resolute.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This took longer than I was expecting because when I started editing, well, I ended up writing it completely over again from around halfway through ^^'  
But I'm glad I did, now I feel like this is how I wanted it to be.

Namine felt giddy, sinking deeper into the hot bathwater. The soft, small smile had not left her lips even when she and Xion had agreed it was getting late and they should probably return so that they wouldn’t keep Kairi waiting too long. Her skin and hair smelled of woodsmoke and the crisp autumn air, and she was almost reluctant to wash it away. She knew the evening she had just had wouldn’t disappear along with it, but it felt like it almost could.

”Here’s your nightgown for when you’re done, milady,” Kairi said and draped the dress on top of the drawer in the bathroom.

”Thank you,” Namine said, still not sure what else to say. Kairi just smiled back at her, though there had been a knowing glint in her eyes ever since she and Xion had came back.

”I’ll be going then. Goodnight, milady."

Kairi took the borrowed clothes with her, and just like that, they had committed the perfect crime. No one but the three of them--four of them if you counted the guard at the gate--knew where Namine had been all day.

Eventually Namine got out of the tub, dried and dressed herself, and flopped on her bed, the covers already unfurled for ease of slipping between them. Namine slid her hand under the pillow to take out the blue ribbon she had placed there. She traced the lace with her fingertips, her smile widening again. She was tempted to kiss the ribbon, and the only reason she didn’t was that she wanted to remember the other taste on her lips for as long as she still could.

Happy and content she fell asleep, not yet thinking about her father’s return the day after tomorrow. She would have tomorrow to collect her thoughts.

Except she didn’t.

When the maids woke her up the next morning, their message was clear. Her father had come home early and was waiting for Namine to come and greet him. Namine was half-dragged up from her bed and stood in front of a mirror while the maids went through her clothes, trying to decide on what she would wear. Namine didn’t have an opinion. She hardly thought it mattered, it was her father.

After clothes they worked on her hair, gathering it up on elegant curls all the while Namine stared at the version of her reflected in the mirror. It felt separate from who she had been yesterday, but it was who she had been for most of her life. That woman was _ her _, as much as she wished she could have been someone else.

Her father was seated in the dining room, eating breakfast as she was walked in. The smile on her face was strained, but it was not like he would have noticed any difference.

”Father, you’re home already! I hope it doesn’t mean something went wrong?” Namine’s voice was steady but in her ears sounded as hollow as her smile was.

Her father glanced at her once, then returned his attention to his breakfast.

”Ah yes, the trip was a success. Everything went better than expected so there was no need to spend the extra day,” he said dully, continuing to give the barest explanation of the deal he had made with his business partners. Namine remembered the couple from several parties and meetings, but she didn’t remember ever having talked with either of them.

”Also, it was decided,” father said, not even looking up, as if it was perfectly clear what he was talking about. Namine was just about to ask what he meant when he elaborated on his own. ”Their son agreed to your marriage. The wedding day is to be decided, but it will be before the year ends. I was thinking right after your birthday.”

Namine felt like she had been dunked in cold water.

”My... marriage?” the words left her mouth before she could stop herself.

Her father looked at her now, eyes unfeeling and unwavering. ”Yes. Your marriage.”

”...I haven’t even met their son,” Namine said faintly.

”And so?”

”I--” Namine’s chest felt heavy. It squeezed itself around her lungs, around her heart. There was a part of her that thought that she only needed to say how she felt, that he would understand, but another part, the one that remembered more clearly every interaction they had had in the past told her she should stop talking, that the question was a trap. Namine couldn’t look her father in the eyes. ”_I don’t want to marry him._”

”Since when,” his voice was calm, ”has it mattered what you _ want_?”

Namine flinched.

Her father’s tone took an icy turn, prickling her like needles. ”I didn’t _ want _ my wife to die giving birth to you. But I raised you. I dressed you. I fed you. For as long as you still live in my house, you’ll do as I say, end of discussion. Now sit down and eat.”

Namine could feel her hands shaking.

She was going to be married before the end of the year.

She turned around and strode out of the room, her steps just short of running.

In the dining room, the few servants present looked at each other uncomfortably. A maid grabbed a silver tray and started gathering Namine’s breakfast on it, but was stopped by her father’s hard voice.

”Do not indulge her childish _ moods_, she needs to learn to get over them. She can eat when she behaves again.”

* * *

Back in her own room, Namine felt like suffocating. She needed air. As she fumbled to open the window, she could briefly see her own reflection in the class. She hated it. Her blue eyes may have been from her mother and everyone said they made her look like her, but she had never personally known her and the trait that caught her eyes more often was her blond hair, which was definitely from her father. The air hit cold against her face when she managed to push the window open. She sat quietly on her windowsill, looking down at the manor’s garden and then beyond the wall surrounding it, across the farmlands preparing for winter.

There was a world outside the manor, and momentarily she could breathe again.

Namine had known it was coming. She had always known. But knowing was different from actually having to face it, knowing _ exactly _ how much time she still had left. Not even three months.

When someone knocked on her door, Namine was already ready to send whoever it was away. She didn’t want to see anyone. But before she could open her mouth and say as much she heard Xion’s voice. ”It’s me. I heard the news. Are you in there?”

She sounded winded. Worried. Ready to listen to whatever Namine wanted to say, or keep her silent company if she didn’t feel like saying anything. Somehow that made Namine feel both better and worse at the same time, but either way, she simply couldn’t send Xion away.

”Come on in,” she said quietly. Clearly loud enough because Xion opened the door and peeked through. She seemed disheveled, which told Namine that she was coming straight from the training yard.

”Hey,” was all Xion said. She wanted for Namine to do something. Namine didn’t know what to do or say. With the lack of any other direction, Xion came to sit next to her on the windowsill, touching her cheek with the back of her hand. ”You’re cold. Let’s close the window, okay?”

Namine nodded. She wasn’t sure how long she had sat by the open window.

The window closed with a soft clack. Xion talked calmly as she got up again and set her hand gently on Namine’s shoulder. ”We should get you warmed up. Come.”

Namine let out a long breath before following suit and getting up, walking over to her bed and then sitting back down like Xion told her to. Xion took the blanket and wrapped it around her, and the soft fabric felt nice against Namine’s skin. Before Xion could put some formal distance between them, Namine took hold of her jacket’s sleeve and gestured for her to sit next to herself.

”Can I lean on you? For a moment?” she asked quietly.

”Do you really need to ask?” Xion asked back. Namine sighed contently and flopped on her side, staying upright only because Xion was there to stop her from falling over. She nested her head on Xion’s shoulder and closed her eyes, and after that they were both silent for a time.

”I take it you don’t want to talk about it?” Xion asked finally, her voice soft and quiet. She wasn’t trying to pressure Namine into talking, she just wanted to let her know she could talk if she wanted to.

”I guess... I just don’t know what to say,” Namine said in answer. Where there had been a swirl of different emotions inside her before, she now felt nothing but all-encompassing tiredness. ”The only thing that comes to mind is... I really don’t want to marry yet. Not now. Perhaps never. But definitely not like this. Besides, marriage means moving away, and then I can’t--” _ see you. _

Namine glanced up at Xion before immediately turning her eyes away again.

She felt it was unfair of her to wish they could have had truly something, to wish that if only she had a few more years Xion might have wanted to be with her. It was unfair because the result would still always be the same, no matter how much more time there was--when her father told her to, she would have to get married and that would be the end of whatever they had. Legally she couldn’t be_ forced _to marry, but technicalities were technicalities, of that much she was perfectly aware.

She had to wonder how much say her fiancé had had in the arrangement on his own part. It was possible he hadn’t been allowed to choose either and they were in the same position, but he also might have agreed without caring about knowing or even meeting Namine beforehand. She wasn’t sure whether to resent him or feel kinship because of their shared sorry situation--that was the problem of having never met.

”According to the maids you also told that to your father,” Xion said.

Namine sighed again.

”I did. Not that he listened. You know he never does, so things are going to continue the way he wants them to,” she said. That was the style he had always called ”raising her”, even though Namine could have given it other names. ”Just once... I would like for him to really listen.”

Xion hummed noncommittally and played with a strand of Namine’s curled hair sticking out from under the blanket. Then she looked down at her and spoke. ”How good is your father with a sword? I could duel him for you.”

”Or your fiancé, if you’d prefer,” she continued.

Namine looked at her with wide eyes.

”You mean as my appointed knight?” she asked, her disbelief easily audible in her voice.

”Why not? It’s an old tradition but people still do it. My training is almost over. By your supposed wedding I’ll be a fully-fledged knight and it would look very bad for your father if he refused the duel. He wouldn’t have any option but to agree in front of everyone,” Xion said, once again speaking with such resolution that it made Namine almost dizzy.

”I’m not going to tell you what to do. All I’m saying is I could give you a platform to speak freely if you wanted it,” Xion shrugged slightly. ”And I’m not saying it would be easy.”

And it really wouldn’t be. Namine was well aware of it. Saying a few rebellious words every now and then in private, meaningless and easily cast aside, was one thing. Publicly disobeying her father, and in a way that in itself raised questions about how she was being treated no less, was quite another. She would certainly be disowned. The thought made a cold, tight pressure form inside her chest again. She knew she did not owe her father anything. She knew it. But still, losing even the semblance of her father’s affection she currently received was a scary thought.

Yet, when she allowed herself to think further than that, a life without her father’s overbearing presence in it, she couldn’t help but to feel... hopeful. A life where she lived on her own.

”I would need to have a plan. About what I would do after refusing the marriage,” Namine said quietly. Without her family’s name and position, she would be practically alone. She had some assets of her own, mostly the inheritance from her mother her father could not lawfully take away from her, but it wouldn’t last her indefinitely.

”Have you ever thought of it? A life of your own?” Xion asked, her voice simply curious completely without accusations or demands.

”I have,” Namine admitted, a small, wistful smile tugging at her lips. ”I would of course need to find work. Since there aren’t many things I’m qualified at, I think teaching art would suit me. That’s the one thing I’m confident at. Finding someone willing to employ me, with no name or references, however...”

”Hmm, yeah, that can be difficult,” Xion nodded. ”But I hear people in the bigger cities care less for social status and more for how skilled one is nowadays.”

”If only I had at least a little better understanding of the world. It’s a scary thought, having to learn to navigate it alone,” Namine sighed, her chest heavy.

Xion took a deep breath, even closing her eyes for a moment before she spoke again. ”Needless to say, if I duel your father I’m going to get kicked out so I would be in search of a new place as well--”

”Oh, that’s right!” Namine interrupted. She felt twice as bad because she hadn’t considered that before. ”And your caretaker is my father’s friend, too. I can’t ask that of you.”

Xion was an orphan, taken in by a man who used to be one of Namine’s father’s closests friends, even though he was of lower social standing. She had gotten her place in the knight-training through him.

”That’s not what I was getting at. I’m thankful to Even, but we’re not that close. And he won’t hold it against me. I think,” Xion frowned briefly but shook her head, deciding that that was not the important part right now. She continued, her eyes steady on Namine’s face, the expression on her own sincere but slightly embarrassed. ”As I was _going_ to say--if you would have me, I could come with you.”

Namine blinked.

At first the silence that followed unnerved Xion. Was it a no? Then she recognized the look on Namine’s face. Certain things had gone unsaid between them for so long that it had been a little hard for both of them to tell exactly how serious the other’s feelings were, and Namine had a bad habit of putting herself down. She hadn’t yet fully accepted that Xion really meant what she had said.

Xion thought, she had already said so much, so why not say all the rest as well and make sure Namine _ knew _. She took off the jacket she had only quickly fastened after putting it on on her way over from the training yard in the first place, revealing the loose-fitting shirt she wore underneath. Before Namine managed to say anything about that, she was already undoing the front lacing, revealing bits of her skin. Namine flushed red, but didn’t turn her head away and instead followed with her eyes how Xion took hold of her hand gently and guided it past the fabric, placing it to rest above her heart.

”I care for you. I do. I-- I love you,” Xion said, feeling the heat on her own cheeks. ”If you let me, I _ will _ follow you. My heart is yours.”

Namine involuntarily clenched her fingers a little. She felt like she might cry again.

”--ours,” Namine mumbled with her head bowed and Xion really couldn’t tell what she had said before she took a deep breath and repeated again, with a lot stronger voice. ”As mine is yours.”

Xion smiled. She felt happy. And realized there was one more thing she really needed to say, just to make sure.

”Ah, but-- Still, we have time to think about this whole thing. Your marriage. The possibility of a duel,” Xion said, suddenly flustered. ”It’s not a decision that needs to be done now.”

”I know,” Namine said and chuckled quietly into her free hand at that. ”But right now, I-- actually feel a lot better. So thank you.”

”Oh. That’s good,” Xion said, calming down. She realized she was still holding Namine’s hand so she brought it up to her lips and kissed the back of it before letting it go.

Namine smiled softly and slowly leaned up for a kiss, which she did get. They shifted closer to each other, and while Xion’s hands gently cupped Namine’s face, she wrapped her hands around Xion’s neck. Namine traced her fingers ever so lightly against the bare skin, making Xion brush her lips with her thumb in turn. Their next kiss was deeper already, turning into a trickle of gentle touches down along Namine’s jaw. Namine reached her head back a bit to allow Xion access to her neck. With clear permission, Xion opened the first few buttons of Namine’s dress and pressed gentle kisses on the skin revealed.

Namine closed her eyes, smiling and happy in the moment.

* * *

The next few months at the estate were busy as everyone started to prepare for Namine’s birthday, and, after it was made public information, her wedding. After her initial refusal it seemed like Namine had accepted what was to come as she smiled passively and made polite conversation about the celebrations when asked. Her father thought it was just that--that like all the times before, she had given in, come to her senses and finally behaved again.

Yet, when Namine’s birthday came around, there was a little tenseness in her throughout the day. When her father was about to proceed to inform the gathered guests about the details of her wedding, Xion, knighted just shortly before, walked up to him and bowed down in protocol. His expression was a little put off but still mildly curious. They had never talked, which also meant that he had little idea of what the knight was like.

”Lord Ansem! As is allowed by tradition, I challenge you to a duel,” she said. Everyone’s eyes in the hall were on them and you could have heard a pin drop.

”For?” Namine’s father asked.

”Your daughter’s right to speak her mind freely,” Xion said, matching his calm and exact tone.

Hushed murmurs filled the room. Appointed duels were uncommon nowadays and ’a right to speak’ was an even more unusual prize, because losing meant she wouldn’t be allowed to say anything in his presence, whereas winning only meant he would be honour-bound to not interrupt her whatever she was going to say. Which begged the question, why did she need to win that right?

”The rules?” Namine’s father asked, giving a harsh glare at Namine’s direction. She pointedly didn’t look at him but focused fully on Xion.

”To first blood,” Xion said.

”Very well,” was all he said to that.

A servant hurried to fetch him a sword, and people gave them space. They looked each other in the eyes, both completely unwavering and revealing nothing on their faces. Before long the servant returned with the sword, and they were ready to begin. They saluted each other after which followed a short pause as both of them tried to determine which one of them would go first. Some people could have said that a duel to first blood was easy. No one was going to die. Probably. Any injuries were unlikely to be serious. But, the thing was, it didn’t make it a whole lot easier because even the smallest of nicks or grazes would mean the difference between winning and losing.

Finally Namine’s father took a step forward and cut at Xion. She sliced it off and stepped back. She quickly continued further around his right side and thrust up at his face, but he stepped forward and parried Xion’s sword.

They were still testing each other’s skills for now, but it was also true that a duel like this wouldn’t last long.

The next time Xion cut at him, but he sliced it towards his right, immediately cutting at her side himself. She barely avoided the steel, taking a few quick running steps back. It was becoming very clear that he probably had more raw strength out of the two of them, but that she was nimbler and quicker. That suited Xion wonderfully, because she didn’t need to win a full-on brawl, she just needed to get one hit to land before he did.

A few exchanges later Xion raised her sword arm as if to make a high cut, but when he moved to ward it off, she suddenly dropped her hand and thrust the blade under his guard, connecting with his hip. The sword didn’t just graze him. She could feel how the sword sunk into him and when she pulled it back, the blade was red with blood. Indisputable evidence she had won. Xion threw her head back and smiled at Namine across the room.

”I have won for you, milady! Speak if you wish.”

Some excited shouts could be heard from the audience and a medic rushed forward to treat the wound. Namine’s father stood on one knee, holding his side with a pained expression. He still managed quite an icy look at his daughter. Usually Namine would have folded under it, and she just might have remained silent. She had not, exactly, expressed any disobedience of her own yet. Maybe he’d still forgive her? But no. She wasn’t backing down. This had been planned, well in detail down to what she would say and what they would do after. She had planned it. And oh, the way Xion looked right now. _Invincible_.

Namine had always felt like Xion had things she didn’t. Determination. Courage. Well, maybe she could borrow some of those for herself.

”I do not wish to marry,” Namine said, her head held high despite the whispering her words spurred. ”And I will not suffer to be associated with my father’s name anymore. From now on I shall take on my mother’s maiden name.”

It must have seemed so sudden to almost everyone there. Namine’s father gritted his teeth, but didn’t say anything. Whether it was because of him honoring his loss or the wound or the combination of both didn’t matter.

Namine took a deep breath. She wasn’t her father’s prisoner. She wasn’t a doll, and she wasn’t a songbird locked in a cage.

”I shall take my leave immediately, taking with me only the things that are rightfully mine, so you need not worry, dear father.” Namine curtsied and turned on her heels. She felt impossible, almost like she wanted to take it all back, expect it was the last thing she wanted to do.

She was followed out of the room by Xion, who bowed curtly at the doors.

No one made even a single move to stop them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hmm... Didn't intend on name-dropping Namine's father at all but oops. Guess I should tag him then.
> 
> Thank you so much for reading, I hope you enjoyed it!


End file.
